Sunday, July 18, 2010

My child of loss

There have been many times in the past 22 years of parenting that I have felt inadequate. Repeatedly, I have wished for an all encompassing guidebook/tech manual for training up a child. I am talking a book like the repair manual for my van.  If A then B types of advice. Maybe with a flow chart or script. That would be my "left brained" self thinking. I am realistic enough to realize that it is not possible. Parenting is so subjective, since each child brings their own set of individual circumstance and personality to the mix. In spite of the lack of direction, I have tried to help my children through difficulties such as: negative peer pressure, diagnosis of a chronic illness, questioning their faith, etc.  The situation that makes me feel incompetent is when one of my children is dealing with a loss. Each of them have had to deal with loss but there is one child that seems to experience more frequently than the other two.

This child began her life of loss at 6 years old when one of her best friends was killed in a playground accident. It has continued through a couple of family deaths but the past few years have been more difficult. She has had at least two close friends move out of the area each summer for the past 4 years. On top of that, she had two friends killed in a car accident this school year. Each of these losses has come with a fresh period of grief for her. And we as parents, are powerless to help.

This month we learned about another instance of a state relocation as well as a two year extension to another friend's dad's job out of the country.  These two newest instances have caused me to reflect on how frequently I have seen this daughter saddened by the loss of another friend in her life. I am beginning to see how strong she really is as she works through her grief. I am also convinced that God has a purpose for her life that will utilize these losses for His glory.  Or as my mother pointed out she will have many places to stay as grows up and wants to travel the world.

No comments:

Post a Comment